Just Like Berlin...

My first year of college, I was a young 18 and unsure if I wanted to continue in my projected career of theatre arts, or if I wanted to pursue psychology (a subject that fascinated me, though I never saw myself as a therapist) or if I was just clueless what I wanted to do. At the time, I was taking some theatre and psych courses as well as American Sign Language. During high school I had taken German but barely made it enough to learn it at a conversational level. The only things I was certain of at the time was that I was confused, preparing to leave for a semester in London (the city I'd wanted to visit the longest) and as in love with music as I ever was. Nothing else was certain at that point.

One morning, I was taking a bath before school and had the radio on. Now as a music lover, you may think, this wouldn't be an odd thing to read about me. But at the time, it was. Napster was a huge deal at the time and I had grown sick of the radio's corporate agenda and excessive talk and advertising. However, this particular morning, the mood struck me and I turned on KNRK. After a couple of songs, the DJ of the morning announced that later on in the day, they would be giving away a trip to Berlin to see The Cure. I remember thinking to myself how nice it must be to win prizes like that. And at times, I didn't think anyone ACTUALLY won them, they just claimed that people did to entice people. I had never met anyone who ever won a prize that big, usually people won tickets to a local show or a free CD or something. I thought of how much I'd love to see the Cure, but knew that the time they were planning to run this contest, I would be at school. I had an ASL test that day.

By the time I got to class, I had long forgotten about this prize that I was sure was to elude me. I took my test, and like I did so many times before, finished first. I was excused and headed outside to catch the long trimet bus ride home. As I was walking toward the usual bus stop on campus, I saw the bus was already there and even with my best sprint, I wasn't going to make it. I remembered another stop located at the exit, which was closer and started running toward it. At that moment, it started to pour BUCKETS of rain. I got to the corner and was waiting, shivering for the bus to slowly creep around the corner and pick me up. As I was waiting, a gold buick style car pulled up to exit. The window rolled down and a latina girl with curly brown locks leaned over her passenger seat and asked me if I wanted a ride. I had never seen this girl in my life (and would never see her again), but I HATED the bus so much and the rain was freezing. So, despite everything I had been taught my whole life, I accepted a ride from a total stranger.

However, nothing dramatic to report. She took me home, safe and sound and I thanked her several times for her generosity. I got inside, changed into warm clothes and headed to the living room to do my homework. And for some reason, I was compelled to tune into the radio again. I turned on KNRK at first, then switched to KUFO when a song I didn't like came on... Then KUFO hit commercials so I started to check the stations again. Landed back on KNRK and continued my homework. Then I heard it. The opening notes of "Just Like Heaven."

I thought to myself, "Hey. I'm home way earlier than usual, I wonder if this is when you're supposed to call in for that trip..." So, for the hell of it, I put down my homework and picked up the phone and started calling.

"Hello! You're caller number 4, try again!"
Dialed again.
"Hello! You're caller number 14, try again!"
Dialed again.
"Hello! You're caller number 24, try again!"

Now, you're supposed to be caller 94 to win. So, I'm thinking, if I can keep this pace up, I might have a shot! But after I was called 24, I kept getting the busy signal. But, I kept dialing and dialing and dialing. Until I remembered, I was waiting on a call from the Theatre department about tickets for a show that night. I realized that my relentless dialing would keep them from being able to get through to me. So, I told myself... Okay. One more time...

It rang.
and rang.
and rang.

At this point, I was pretty sure they had found their winner and this call would ring forever. Then... an answer.

"Hello, NRK!"
"Oh, did you get your winner?"
"Are you 18 or older?"
"Yea..."
"Do you have a valid passport?"
"Yea..."
"YOU JUST WON A TRIP TO SEE THE CURE IN BERLIN!!!!!!!"
"That's so not funny."
"IM NOT KIDDING!"
"Oh my God. Really??? I... I never win ANYTHING."
"WELL YOU WON THIS!!!! CAN I GET A WOOOOO?"
"Oh my God.... uh... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

I was in total shock, I didn't think it was possible. I was in total shock... At that moment, my mother came home from work and as I was trying to talk to the radio station, I was trying to my mum what was going on. My mum eventually had to take the phone and explain that my passport was in the mail and that I would already be in London during the time of the show so they didn't have to fly me from Portland, they could fly me and my friend from London instead. (Which I have no doubt delighted the record company, who were footing the bill for all this)

While preparing for my trip to London (and now Berlin) I was trying to figure out who was going to go with me. I didn't know a single person in the group that was going to the London study and the record company was insistent that whoever joined me for the show had to be flown out from the same place as me, so I couldn't have one of my Portland friends flown out from PDX and meet them in Germany. I had no idea what I was going to do. Then, my close friend from High School, Mary and I were talking. And she suggested... What if she came up with the money to get to London... Would I take her? Um. DUH! I was THRILLED at the idea of having my friend join me in this adventure. I checked with my host family if Mary could stay with me for a week or so and they were fine with it... And I don't even know how she did it, but she came up with the money and it was set. Mary and I were going to see the Cure in Berlin together after she joined me in London.

Fast forward to the weekend of. I took a train out to Gatwick and picked up Mary at the airport. When I found her, she immediately informed me that shortly after I was returning from London, Nine Inch Nails and Perfect Circle were playing the Rose Garden and that she had gone ahead and picked up the tickets anticipating that I would want to go. I nearly broke down, after so many years of being a HUGE NIN fan, I was finally going to see them. The same year that this amazing trip was happening. I couldn't be more excited.

The morning we were to take off for Germany, we overslept some and hustled to get ready and get to Heathrow as quickly as we could. When we got to the airport, the check in for our flight had already closed and we were devastated. But we were told we could come back that evening and standby for a later flight. We agreed and headed back to the house, cursing our stupidity. Later that night, we returned to Heathrow, sat down in the terminal and waited. The very first flight had openings and we boarded the little one hour flight to Germany.

I don't remember much from the flight except that they served a greek salad and at the time, I detested everything on my plate and was grumpy that I was hungry and didn't have a thing substantial to eat. But all those feelings went away when we began our decent and I started to see the lights of Berlin in the night sky. I started to think of those German classes I took and how Mrs. Pope and I started to have conflicts and she pulled that awful cliche crap of "You'll never get to Germany and even if you did, you'll never be able to get around!" Yet there I was... descending right into beautiful Berlin. A tear or two quietly streamed down my face as we landed.

We then got a taxi to the Hotel, where we had a nice late check in. We started investigating the room immediately, watched some German Baywatch, had some laughs and passed out. The next day, we walked around, had lunch at the Hard Rock, and shopped. We found a liquor store close by and picked up some real German jager and a couple other things while we were there. Turned out it was a smart idea, as that night was a very amazing lightning and thunderstorm that kept us holed up in our hotel room, watching MORE German TV and drinking the strongest Jager I have ever had. (It was at this time that I discovered a little band called H.I.M., but that's another story for another time)

The next day, it was BLAZING hot, as if the night before had never happened. So, Mary and I hit the town again, this time eating at Planet Hollywood and hitting some CD stores so I could find some H.I.M. cds. That night, we took a cab to the address we were given for the venue, which was known only as "The Arena."

When we got there, we had to ask a couple locals to point us in the right direction because the Arena was essentially nothing more than a giant empty warehouse. We stood in line for a couple of hours, talked to a few locals and finally started filing into the venue. We were only 3-5 people back from the front row railing, so we were very pleased. We had brought in the poster of Robert Smith that I had gotten from Tower Records before I left for the trip. Prior to the concert, we had used highlighter pens to write on the back of it that we had come from the US to see the show and that we loved the Cure. We had intended to hold it up during the show, not realizing that in a dark ass room, highlighter writing was for sure, no matter how big the block letters were. While we waited for the show to start, we had gotten wind of the fact that there would be no opening band, just two solid hours of the Cure. We were so excited, no insufferable opener... just the band we were there to see.

When the lights came up and the band came out, the screams were deafening. And I don't know if it was the venue's lack of air circulation, the health of the audience, or just the presence of Robert Smith, but after only a few songs into the set, I started to notice people were dropping like flies in the front rows... Which moved Mary and I up to the front very quickly. I don't think we were ever totally up against the railing but we were damn close. So for what it's worth, I thank all those sweet little goth girls who were passing out with roses in their hands and being carted off by the security.

Mary started to encourage me to hold up the sign. When I opened it, we realized you couldn't read the writing for shit. So, Mary and one of the guys near us started telling me to roll it up tight and throw it onto the stage, along with all the other gifts being thrown at the stage for the band. I decided, nothing to lose... So, I wound it up tight as i could and chucked it like a spear toward the stage. It immediately unraveled. And my memory of what happened next is always in totally slow motion...

It started to drift back and forth slowly toward the floor where the security stood... When suddenly, a totally random, unexpected gust of air flipped the poster and pushed it right toward the stage... We watched in complete disbelief as it started to drift back and forth... down, down, down... landing, writing side up, in front of Robert Smith's microphone. Perfectly. We looked at each other when it landed like... how did that even just happen?

We looked back and saw Robert coming back to the microphone after playing on the sidestage with his gutar... He walked up... and we saw him cock his head to the side, squint his eyes some to read it, and smiled. We screamed and jumped up and down, along with our friendly stranger. We couldn't believe it. It wasn't really acknowledged in any way other than that, but that was enough for us.

During their intermission, the friend of the stranger grabbed our arms and pointed toward the dark side of the stage shouting "LOOK LOOK, THEYRE ALL READING YOUR SIGN!!" I couldn't see a thing but I could see in his eyes that he was confident in what he witnessed.

Another hour of amazing music passed by and we ate up every second of it. After it was over, we spent copious amounts of money on merchandise and went back to the hotel.

Today, Mary and I are no longer friends, which makes me sad. To share something as incredible as an international trip and be split up by petty boy troubles and untrue rumours is a tragic thing. But I still remember the trip fondly and remember that time of our friendship fondly and wish that we could find a way to resolve the dumb crap that drove us apart all those years ago. But if she ever read this, I hope she knows that whenever I hear "Just Like Heaven" I think of our time at that show and how happy and young we were.

Two Night Filter with a Chevelle

This particular story isn't just solely about what happened to me. There are a couple moments that were me specific, but it was more the experience itself that I wanted to share this time.

Back in 2000, it was announced that Filter would be coming to town. I was thrilled, I loved Filter, had a HUGE crush on Brian Liesegang, and they had JUST released 'Take a Picture' if memory serves. Not enough time for the song to go crazy mainstream, but enough time to know how much I liked that song. My friend Mary and I were all over this in a heartbeat. We got our tickets and immediately started sharing the news with other friends. We were met with some pretty disappointing reviews.

More than a few of my friends saw Filter when they had come to Portland for the first album's tour. They said that Richard Patrick, the singer, sounded terrible and that the show was ruined for it. So, now Mary and I, while still planning on going without fail, were somewhat apprehensive that we had just bought tickets to a crappy show.

So, the night of the Filter concert came. We were front row for most of the show as usual. I was waving my ollllllllllllllllllllllllllld school Nine Inch Nails shirt around (I has a photo of just Vrenna, Reznor and Patrick on it. OLD school.) Singing along and having a grand ol' time. What were these people talking about??? Richard sounds fantastic! The band is playing great, though severely lacking Brian Liesegang, much to my disappointment. I had to leave the front row when I was kicked HARD in the jaw by a crowd surfer in giant steel toed boots. (I am still missing a small piece of bone in my jaw.) When I was off to the side, they were getting ready to play 'Take a Picture.' I am glad at this point that I was off to the side, primarily because I could actually HEAR what Richard was saying. Richard starts off by saying Thank you to the audience. He continues, "Last time we were here, I was really sick and my voice was shot. But despite that, this show sold out in TEN. MINUTES. We are just so grateful for what great fans we have here that we are going to play ANOTHER show for you guys tomorrow! Just head to the back to grab your ticket!!"
I was elated! I ran to the back to secure my ticket and tried to get one for Mary, but they made it very clear, it was one per person and she would have to come get it herself. So, I waited til the show was over so Mary could get out of the front row and get her ticket. Unfortunately, by the time Mary got out (and the show was over) the tickets were long gone. We were pretty upset and disappointed to say the least. So, we headed out back, like we usually did, to try to meet the guys in Filter (or their opener, this little unknown band called Chevelle)

Chevelle came out first, we got to meet the sweet and funny Loeffler brothers. Years later, they would reach a greater success, but at this time, they were pretty well unknown. We hung out with them for a while before Geno Lenardo and Richard Patrick came out. I got my photo taken with Geno, but sadly not Richard. With Richard, I had him sign my shirt, to which he responded "Ohhh, that was YOU holding that thing up." He gave me a bit of a hard time but signed it without hesitation. I then informed him that Mary didn't get a ticket, but that there were girls in the restroom before we came outside bragging that they had gotten several to sell off.

Richard looks at me and says... "are you serious!?" in a very disappointed tone. Mary confirms indeed, she got the shaft for a ticket. Richard turns around, looks at a woman standing a few feet behind him, doesn't say a word... But she sees his face, throws up her hands and goes "Alright, Alright!" and walks onto the bus. She returns minutes later with a
notepad in her hand and starts asking who didn't get a ticket and taking down their names for the guestlist. She asked my name, but I told her, "No, I have a ticket." She smiled, thanked me, and moved to the next guy.

We spent a little more time afterward hanging out with Chevelle. I don't entirely remember why we decided this, but somehow I had talked the singer of Chevelle into writing my name across his chest for the next night's gig. It was all in fun, but I really don't recall how we came to this idea.

The next night rolls around and Mary and I get in without any problem and head straight for the front row again. This night isn't as crowded as the night before, as Korn was performing at another venue that same night. But this was okay by us, as there wasn't nearly the amount of giant sweaty men getting pushed up on us this time. So Chevelle come out and I notice that the singer has a shirt on. Well, so much for my name scrawled across his chest. I am only a little disappointed, as I was pretty sure he had just forgotten anyway. But then, the girl next to me points out his arm... down his arm written in sharpie, plain as day... "MICHELLE." I throw my head back and crack up laughing, he actually remembered!!! Mary and I laughed together and we continued to rock out to the show.

Then Filter came out! Richard was wearing a hoodie and broke out into the first song like an awesomely crazy frontman. As the show continued, he spotted a small child in the front row. He asked how old the kid was, I wanna say the kid was about 8 years old. Richard took the hoodie off his own back and gave it to the kid, it was a really cool moment. I bet that boy still remembers that moment like it was yesterday. Then, when Filter kicked into their hit, Jurassitol, I was elated. That was and still is my all time favourite Filter song (and video). Richard was looking out at the audience while singing and finally caught my eye as I was singing right along. Much to my surprise and delight, he kept singing with/to me for a good chunk of the song. It was totally awesome and made my night.

After the show, sadly I didn't see anymore Filter guys come out from backstage but Chevelle did. Pete and I had a laugh about the whole my-name-on-his-arm thing. Turns out he HAD forgotten until right before they went onstage. He saw me in the crowd, remembered our deal, asked someone for a sharpie and quickly wrote it down his arm. We had one last hearty laugh over this before Mary and I said our goodbyes and went home happy.

To this day, I still have fond memories over what a great TWO nights I had seeing Filter and Chevelle and how many memories I had from two short nights.

Penis Girl!

So back in about 2004, on the Metal Sludge board, some of the men were using pictures of naked women in their userpics or banners. Which had some of the women kinda pissed off. So, although I wasn't bothered by it particularly... I figured, I would get a little revenge. Because there's always a little bit of a double standard. So I found a photo of a really hot porn star named Kurt Lockwood. Standing. Naked. Holding his erect cock. And put it as my userpic and started posting all over the Metal Sludge board, where these guys were posting.

Now of course, the men immediately were freaked out and started asking me to take it down, to which I retorted about the naked women on THEIR userpics/banners and that if they get those, I get mine. It became a really funny thing and we all had a good laugh.

Later in the week, I was over at the VAST board. And I decided to make a couple casual posts as I hadn't been there in some time.

What I had forgotten... was that both Metal Sludge and VAST used ezboards for their message board server. So, whatever your userpic was for one board, it would carry over to the other... Needless to say, the responses to my posts weren't about what I said, but a bunch of "WTF?!" about my userpic. So, again, there were laughs as I explained what the picture was about and promptly changed it back to something more appropriate. I figured that would be the end of it.

But no.

Later I saw VAST in concert and met up with the band after the show to have them sign some stuff. When I mentioned my name was RikkiSixx, the drummer Jerry looks up and me, points, lights up and goes "PENIS GIRL!" To which I had to explain the story YET AGAIN, while my face was beet red as could be.


This was also the night I met my future roommate Kyle, who for several months after this night, had my phone number in her cell phone listed under... you guessed it. "Penis Girl."

Dancing at the Metro...

I only had to see one photo of Rachel Stamp to know that they had to be something I would like. During 1999, I had a lovely little hobby of going to Tower Records on a regular basis... and sitting on their little futon couch reading the imported magazines, Kerrang being one of my favourites. Kerrang was the magazine that featured the bands I actually cared about... Coal Chamber, Amen, Machinehead..... Pretty much all the bands on Roadrunner Records that the local magazines didn't much publicize. Anyhow, several times when looking at these magazines, I kept reading about this Rachel Stamp. But, no matter how great their glam look, I still wanted to hear them. So, I'd look in the Imports section of Tower while I was there everytime... to no avail. I finally found a website at some point that featured short clips of their songs. I chose one titled "Pop Singer" and within seconds of hitting play, I knew I loved this band. However, I literally only had about 3 songs to listen to and they were all short clips. So, my knowledge was still very limited.

Fast forward to April 1st, 2000... When my flight touched down at Gatwick airport in London, England. I was there to live for a semester of school and live with a host family. When they came to pick me up, they asked if there was anywhere in particular I wanted to go.... I told them I wanted to see the Tower Records... So off to Piccadilly Circus we went... Now, this Tower. This Tower was EPIC. THREE FLOORS of Tower Records. And on the lowest floor... there it was. Rachel Stamp "Hymns for Strange Children." I was floored. After so long of turning up dead ends, my first request of London was granted within an hour. I bought it and went to tour my new home for the next few months.

A couple weeks later, a group of us in our class were trying to find a club to go to. Using the Time Out, I was searching for clubs and found one that scored high with me. Metro. Cheap admission, cheap drinks... and boasted Thursday night music like Motley Crue, Aerosmith, Guns N' Roses and the Doors. I was in. Thursday night came around and we showed up a little before 10pm, when the club opened. We were handed flyers that would grant us the £1 admission. On this, it stated "DJs David and Robin Rachel Stamp" My heart stopped. I looked up at the person handing out the flyers and asked "Is this just their DJ names or is this ACTUALLY guys from Rachel Stamp?" She smiled and said, "It's really the guys from Rachel Stamp." I was elated. What luck! Of all the clubs in ALL of London...

After what seemed like hours, I finally spotted them. They walked in and couldn't be missed... with David's green hair and Robin's blonde and pink hair, they illuminated in the blacklight. At this point, I just was trying to find the nerve to approach them and figure out what on earth I was going to say... Finally, I yanked out the foil from my pack of cigarettes and wrote a note. Realizing it was gonna be hard to explain while shouting over the loud music, I figured this was my best choice. I wrote something to the effect of being from America, being a fan and do they have any shows coming up? I walked up to the DJ booth and handed the note to David. He turned away from me in order to bring the note into the light for him to read. As he is reading, he jumps with joy and whips around to see me again, a giant grin on his face. He then tells Robin that I'm from the States and I'm a fan. Robin tries to call bullshit, but I explain that I read Kerrang at home and listened to their songs online. Later, David played Guns N' Roses' "My Michelle" in my honor (as that is my real name, for those who don't know.)

Over the course of my time in London, I spent nearly every Thursday in the glowing lights of the Metro, hanging with David and Robin... During the month of May, I found out they had tour dates across England... I went to two of these gigs. One in Bedford and one in Farnborough. Which if you speak to anyone in England, are basically the styx. At least, Farnborough. The Bedford show included a little band called AntiProduct, with the singer, Alex Kane, reminding me greatly of Johnny Rotten in demeanor and appearance. After a great set from them, Rachel Stamp took the stage. Both Robin and David acknowledged me in their own ways (pointing and thumbs up) and I got to meet the lovely Shaheena Dax and the awesome Will Crewdson, who round out the rest of the group. Robin signed my cd "This hotel wasn't free..." which if you've been paying attention, is referring to the GN'R song that David would play for me at the Metro.

At the Farnborough gig, I didn't get to see them off stage and actually ended up being stranded there overnight. But it was worth it completely. When they were done with their short tour, they came back to Thursday nights and Metro... One night after, I was standing with David and one of the other Metro DJs waiting for our busses/minicabs to go home. The other DJ was talking about how he usually hated American tourists because they always just wanted to hear the Doors all night and never requested anything else. I stated, "But I don't! I request stuff like Buckcherry and GN'R!" David pipes in, "Yea, but I don't think you're actually American. I mean, I know you were born there, but I think you were actually British the whole time." Thus stating probably one of the greatest compliments of my life. As anyone who knows me knows... I'm a britophile. I love everything British and am part English in my ethnic heritage.

A huge part of my time in London WAS Rachel Stamp. I love them to this day and will never forget the amazing time I spent with them in their native country... When they came to mine... well, That's another story for another time.

I miss them all sincerely, especially David, whom I bonded with the most. I hope I won't have to wait too long before we hang out again!

a Valentine's Day delight

It was February 14th 2001... I knew that Unified Theory was playing at the Roseland that night, but I also knew that it was a 21+ show and I was only 19 at that time. My friend Mary and I were walking around downtown, shopping and what not. Eventually we ended up right where the Roseland was so I decided, I wanted to pop in real fast and see if any of the Unified Theory guys were there so I could at least say Hello.

Since the last Unified Theory show the year before, I had kept in touch via email with Chris Shinn, the singer. So, it was because of that communication that I wanted to stop in and at least extend a Hello since I had long since accepted that my ability to go to this show was pretty much nil. So, Mary and I walked into the venue and not only were Unified Theory there, they were doing soundcheck. So, Mary and I tuned in for a few and before leaving, we caught Chris. I got to say my Hello and he asked if I was coming to the show... I told him that wasn't possible due to my age and that my best friend Melissa and I were crushed, as we were both just slightly underage (Melissa being 20 at that time). Chris told me not to worry about and to knock on the Winnebago door later that night and he would take care of things.

I promptly called Melissa and told her that Chris was going to help us with the show. She skeptically accepted, even though her boyfriend and her had made Valentine's dinner plans. But he knew how bad she wanted to go and relented to come along with us (being the only one of us who was old enough to actually obtain his own ticket). We met up downtown and knocked on the Winnebago door as instructed. Chris came out and handed us two passes. Nothing was specified or crossed out, so I wasn't sure what it meant exactly... But Melissa and I were chilling in the lobby eating before the show, I saw a couple Roseland employees starting to head our way... I was waiting for them to promptly throw us out. But one got a look at our passes, stopped the other and they both walked away leaving us alone. I smiled to myself knowing that we were officially in. No worries.

When the show started, there we were. Me. My best friend and her boyfriend. Valentine's night. In the presence of a band we loved to our very core. It was a fantastic show and we reveled in every second that it occurred. After the show, we got to join them again in good conversation... I remember talking with Brad about Shannon and that new thing called Napster... I remember telling him that I still remember where I was when Shannon (Hoon) died and how devastated I was. I remember him relating to me what a beautiful person Shannon was and how it was amazing to have known him. In regards to Napster, Brad's thoughts at the time were... "I don't mind people sharing our music, I just wished someone had asked me permission first."

In the end, in all my years... all my Valentine's days... none have compared to that night.

an Introduction

All these stories are true to the best of my memory. I will not be sharing any dirt or gossip. There won't be talk of sex, drugs or anything negative whatsoever. I have spent a lot of wonderful times with my musician friends and the others I've met along the way. And those stories are the ones I want to remember. So if you're looking for dirt, you're in the wrong place. I hope that you will enjoy these stories, but they're mostly here for me. Because one day I won't be able to just recall these stories on my own.

I sometimes feel like I've lived a hundred lives when I think of all the experiences I've been lucky enough to have.....

xoxo
Rikki Sixx